Source /Photo : Exploding Unicorn
Are you guilty?
Since the invention of pants sometime in early 1982, men who put wallets in their back pockets have wasted trillions of man-hours, fallen victim to millions of thefts, and suffered countless sitting-related injuries. The fact that most guys use their back pockets doesn’t make it any less wrong. A few thousand years ago, everyone thought the earth was flat. Today, millions of people eat mayonnaise by choice. Clearly, just because lots of people do something doesn’t make it right. Wallets should go in the front and only the front. As for those garments that don’t have forward-facing pockets, men shouldn’t wear them in the first place because they’re probably yoga pants. Guys everywhere must unite to end back-pocket wallet placement once and for all. Here are six reasons why the survival of our species depends on it:
Back-pocket wallets make everyone’s butts look funny.
Every time a dude slips a wallet into his back pocket, he looks like he has a huge, rectangular tumor on his butt cheek. That was a perk long ago when men used paper money to attract mates. Back then, a huge bulge meant lots of cash, which was the only sure way to win a woman’s heart. But in the era of credit cards, all an oversized lump shows is that a man is hopelessly confused by digital currency. It’s safe to assume he still uses AOL and owns at least one butter churn. Maybe the girls at the strip club are impressed he has $40 in singles, but sophisticated ladies want plastic. Back-pocket wallets are a sex-repellent that could potentially halt all human reproduction. Forcing men to switch pockets seems like a small price to pay to avoid extinction.
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