Offering a woman money so she’ll be well-groomed enough to take on a date i

Offering a woman money so she’ll be well-groomed enough to date is a d*ck move


Offering a woman money so she'll be well-groomed enough to date is a d*ck move

(Picture: Ella Byworth for

This week, Tim Westwood accidentally shared his credit card details with the world by adding a photo to his Snapchat story rather than sending it to the woman he was planning to go on a date with.

‘Baby looking forward to taking you to dinner on Thursday,’ wrote Tim alongside a photo of his credit card.

‘I appreciate you may wanna get nails, hair & a wax. Even some new shoes or a clutch bag.

‘Use my card it’s black with private banking so there’s no limit (but don’t be buying a new car lol).’

This move is very stupid for many reasons.

First off, because Snapchatting anyone your credit card details is a risky – especially if you then share that photo with everyone who follows you.

But secondly, because offering to pay for a woman to groom herself pre-date is a major dick move.

What would you say if your date offered to pay for your wax?

It implies that to be good enough to date, a woman needs to have her hair done, a new dress, a perfectly waxed bod from armpits to toes.

It suggests that the agreement of a date is only on the condition that said woman will be ‘presentable’ to the guy’s standards. They’re expected to be up to scratch. Obligated, in fact.

It’s the woman’s job to look good, and the man’s job to pay. That’s what offering to pay for grooming implies.

I get that the intentions are probably lovely.

You want to treat a woman well, save her some cash, and make her feel pampered.

But by doing so, you’re suggesting that she needs to be pampered to a certain standard to be an acceptable date. You’re acting like the offer is a lovely gesture – but if you hadn’t offered, you would have expected her to spend money on something that she shouldn’t need to drop cash on.

Offering a woman money so she'll be well-groomed enough to date is a d*ck move

(Picture: Ella Byworth for

There’s also the slightly concerning suggestion that your date needs to earn a certain income, and live a certain lifestyle, to date you.

If she’s low-maintenance, that’s not good enough. If she can’t afford to get a new outfit, you’d rather pay than deal with her old clothes.

Does a slightly different lifestyle bother you that much? Can you really not be with someone whose budget is a little slimmer than yours?

Even if you know that a woman regularly goes for waxes and buys new clothes, it’s still not a decent move to offer up cash as a way to save her some money.

Because here’s the thing – when you pay for something, there’s an understanding that you’re invested in it. You have responsibility for it. You own it, in a way.

A woman’s appearance is not for sale. Her pubic hair is not something you should have monetary control over.

Offering a woman money so she'll be well-groomed enough to date is a d*ck move

(Picture: Getty/ Ella Byworth)]

Her body is her body, and it’s entirely up to her what she does with it.

Just because you’ve put money on the table does not give you the right to expect certain standards of physical beauty.

Imagine if you removed cash from the situation and just suggested that your date would ‘probably want to get a wax, a new dress, a new bag’. You’d sound like a total knob. Adding money into the situation doesn’t rid you of the moral dubiousness of subtly controlling what your partner looks like.

There’s already so much awkwardness around money and dating, from splitting the bill to working out if you can afford to go on the fancy nights out your partner prefers.

Bring gender into that, and things get even more complicated. Blame decades of women being objectified, viewed as things to buy and own, whose affections can be bought and earned.

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(Picture: Ella Byworth for

Paying for anything as part of a date immediately makes the relationship unequal.

She owes you. The way she looks is partly down to you. You’re above, she’s a level below – and that’s no way to start a healthy, equal relationship.

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